Grammar Guardians
Conflict, when faced appropriately by both parties, can be constructive. This type of conflict resolution is a product of practicing open-mindedness and effective communication. It's about finding resolutions rather than retaining tensions and resentments, which are often associated with destructive conflicts. Conflicts are a part of life, and their successful resolution hinges on proper communication. Reflecting on our conflict history and systems and drawing from personal experiences can provide a better understanding of how to navigate life’s conflicts.
As a young child, aggressive conflict behaviors were taught. Conflicts were destructive, creating high tensions among family members. This gave a negative view of conflicts, causing the fight, flight, freeze, and fawn response. Objects would be thrown or broken, and hitting people was acceptable. It was very much an explosive environment, causing no resolutions whatsoever. According to Wilmot (2020, p. 43), this creates extreme reactions to conflict. The teen years were the first experiences with constructive conflict. The chosen family calmly debated religion, while it took a very slow realization that this was an actual conflict and even less understanding of how that was even possible after growing up in such a destructive manner. The mother figure tried her best to change the viewpoint on conflict and provide an open-minded environment. This did not take well due to the many years of harmful conflicts experienced. As a young adult, this caused a critical strain on relationships with others. Abuse was the forte that was the most understood until later in life. While taking many years to reflect on conflict, it now tends to be more collaborative, causing thriving relationships with friends and family members. Although it has taken a lot of complex reflection and a bit longer than peers to maintain these close relationships, it now comes more efficiently, giving a positive, constructive view of the conflict. Remembering and trying to uphold the teachings of the chosen family makes for better conflict resolutions, personally.
Professional conflicts were aggressive as a detention officer. Superiors cannot maintain a constructive conflict with employees. This caused many officers to leave the toxic environment after many years of service, leaving the remaining staff overworked and underpaid. “We hope you come to terms with your own life’s learning—what to keep, what to challenge, what to change, and what to discard because it no longer fits your needs.” (Wilmot, 2020, p. 40). After personal reflections and trying to maintain a more positive view on conflict, the move to advance education and choosing a better professional environment was crucial to retaining the collaborative system that took so long to adapt to. There are very few conflicts in the new position as a lead qualification specialist with an air pollution control agency. Still, they are handled constructively when they arise, causing a more successful work environment.
The experiences of others often shape individual conflict styles. Understanding these different styles can pave the way for more constructive conflicts. This understanding allows us to approach conflicts with an awareness of aggressive, avoidance, and collaborative behaviors. More importantly, it fosters open-mindedness and empathy towards another’s point of view, which is crucial for successful conflict resolution. As Wilmot (2020, p. 40) suggests, we can maintain supportive relationships with less frequent strife when we learn to participate in conflict responsibly.
References
Wilmot, W. W. (2021). Interpersonal Conflict (11th ed.). McGraw-Hill Higher Education (US). https://purdueuniversityglobal.vitalsource.com/books/9781264164264
